Confidence is something that a lot of people struggle with and we all have moments in our lives when our belief in ourselves will take a hit for one reason or another. Not fun, but probably inevitable and it is important to remember that it’s ok! There are things that we can do to help ourselves, and each other, get back up and build/re-build our confidence from that not so fun place – and with that we can all feel that little bit more awesome! On that note, today I thought I’d share a few confidence boosters that have helped me over the years. I hope that these top-tips can help you have a little more faith in yourself – *gotta have faith, faith, faith* – and get your mojo back if you are struggling. So, in no particular order…
Love what you wear
This is a big one for me, if I am not lovin’ the outfit that I’m wearing then it has a huge effect on how I feel about myself. I have discussed before on the blog – here – that I am not one for jogging bottoms or slouchy clothing, even when I’m not going to be leaving the house. Why? Because 1. I love, love clothes and 2. getting dressed in clothes that I love helps to make me feel confident to take on the day and is honestly such mood booster. You need to love your wardrobe and it will love you. Why not try picking up something that you’ve always wanted to wear, but have never felt like you could – you will be surprised by the lift it will give you. Trust me. Just remember most people won’t even notice what you are doing because they are too worried about what they are doing, so just go and own your style and feel better for it!
Say goodbye to comparison
This is something that we are all guilty of and is something that can be really damaging to our confidence. It is so easy to say “I wish my hair was as long as hers” or “Wow, they are so much more fun than me”, forgetting to appreciate how awesome you are & to be grateful for what you have. You can easily change this habit by changing the voice inside your head to admire rather than compare. So, instead of thinking “I wish my hair was as long as hers” think “Her hair looks great, that really suits her. You go girl” and then think of something great about you hair, for example. You get my drift. And if you can’t get the hang of this, and some people’s social media really gets you down about yourself, then the best thing to do is click unfollow – goodbye negative thoughts!
This is key because so often our mood or level of motivation depends on the people around us and how they act. I feel very lucky to have gathered a strong group of positive friends over the years and I know that being surrounded by people with such a ‘can-do’ attitude has done wonders for my confidence. Instead of putting each other down, we are each others own personal cheerleading squads and it is amazing what you feel that you can achieve when you have the best people around you.
If you feel like you have a toxic friendship, or that some of the people around you aren’t lifting you up, then it may be time to have a friendship rethink. I know it sounds harsh, but people do change and the person that was once your secret-sharer may just not be the same person that they were when you became friends. In the long run saying goodbye to friendships that have become negative will be a great relief and will give you a fresh start to more positive relationships = a more confident you.
An awesome looking book that I am dying to get my hands on is the newly released book from blogger Lily Pebbles all about modern female friendship – entitled “The F Word“. If you in need of some friendship guidance then I think this would definitely be an amazing place to start.
Know your talents & celebrate them
Just as your loved ones are cheering you on, it is important to remember that you should be cheering yourself on too. Take some time to work out what you are really good at – whether that is teaching football, buying thoughtful gifts, coding, listening to people or just making a damn good cake – and celebrate it. All of your talents are worth celebrating, no matter how big or small they are, and it is about time we all stared appreciating how awesome we all are.
I was talking to my friend about this the other day. Neither of us were ever natural dancers, but when given the opportunity late on in school to try it we decided to give it a go. It was so much more fun than I could have ever expected and to do something that I didn’t feel confident in and see myself progressing was really cool. Dance encourages you to shake your hips and get moving, you literally gain confidence as you do it. It helps to build a positive body image (yes!) and stops you from feeling awkward, because everyone is just doing the same things and having a good time. Want to try it out, I’d definitely recommend going to a local Zumba class, for great music and a new boost of confidence. Enjoy!
Fake it ’til you make it
Lastly, if in doubt and you really just aren’t feeling the confidence, the best thing that you can do is just to roll with whatever it is you have to be doing. I used to hate the concept of ‘faking it’, I thought it meant that you weren’t being true to yourself and that is not something I am cool with. Actually faking it in this sense just means pretending to the point where you aren’t pretending anymore. Growing your confidence through imitating how confident you’d like to be, and actually if you do this for long enough it is proven that it can change your behaviour and you can become confident. Cool, eh?
Episode two of the awesome The Fringe of It podcast was an amazing discussion about this, confidence and comparison. I 100% recommend you give it a listen if you still aren’t convinced that faking it can work. Listen here.
I feel that I have made leaps and bounds with my confidence over the past year and I have a lot of the things above to thank, so I hope they can give you a helping hand too. What makes you feel most confident?
Love Holly x